After my fiancee Sarah left I was done. I didn’t shower. Didn’t shave. Didn’t leave my apartment. I picked up the bottle again and didn’t put it down. I think she was gone for about a month when I got a call from my sister Riley. We hadn’t talked in years. She told me Mom and Dad wanted us to come up to New York with them for a week. Apparently we had some extended family up there they wanted to visit, and they always wanted to see the city and do touristy stuff. My sister said they already booked a hotel room for the two of us, she told me I couldn’t say no. She also said she wasn’t crazy about the idea of sharing a room with me, but we had to try and get along for our parents. I said yes I would come, and I promised she wouldn’t have anything to worry about from me… Things get really hazy after that. I remember the airport and checking into our hotel room. I remember telling my sister to fuck off after the second day of not leaving the room. I remember her her saying Mom was really worried about me, and begging me to get out of bed. I remember watching my little sister shower… just wanting to look at something beautiful…. The next thing I knew she was dressed and telling me she had to leave early, to tell Mom and Dad it was for work. And that she loved me. I knew something went wrong, that I must have fucked something up, but the past three days were a blank… It wasn’t until a few weeks after the trip, back in Florida alone in my apartment, that it started to come back to me. Flashes of memory hit me, how scared Riley looked in the shower and her crying, running away. Then black again… I felt sick… How could I have done that to her? But then I remembered her face next to mine in bed. How soft she was… I remembered her holding me, telling me she wasn’t mad anymore, that she wanted me too… I remembered, that at least for a little while, we were brother and sister again….
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