My son and I had another… talk

My son and I stayed in for new years last night – he had plans to go out but something happened with his friend and his friend’s girlfriend getting into a fight or something so his plans fell apart. We had a good time hanging out watching the NYE coverage (and the Mariah Carey shitshow) and drinking a little bit.
Well, after the ball dropped I was pretty buzzed and apparently my son is a total lightweight and was a little more than buzzed. We were just winding down and talking about random things. We were talking about the Mariah Carey thing and I said I’d get my laptop to see if it was on youtube yet. My son drunkenly joked that “that thing still works? i figured you just used my computer all the time now” and laughed. I kind of did a “ha-ha, very funny” sarcastic laugh, and he said something along the lines of “oh yeah, that’s only for porn or watching me jerk off” and then his eyes kind of went wide, like he didn’t really mean to say that.
We both were kind of just silent for a little while, just staring at the TV. He surprised me by breaking the silence, even though it was very quiet and almost under his breath, by saying “i don’t mind”. I actually wasn’t sure what he said at first, and asked him. It took him a second or two but he said it again, louder. “I don’t mind.” and my heart started pounding a little bit. I asked him what he meant. He hesitated again and kept staring at the TV and said he didn’t mind that i watch his videos. It kind of put me in shock and I didn’t really know what to say. He picked up on the silence and said “its alright i know you watched them again”. I was staring at him but he kept looking right at the tv, and seemed really relaxed (because of the alcohol I’m assuming). I also noticed that he was starting to get hard… he had flannel pajama pants on so it wasn’t very hard to notice.
I asked him how long he knew, and apparently he’s known for some time now. He drunkenly admitted that he liked knowing that I watched them. I asked him what he meant, and he kind of shrugged it off and said that “it’s just kinda hot knowing you watch”. I could definitely tell he was hard at this point. I didn’t want to say anything, really. But I was buzzed and curious. I prodded a little, and asked if he was serious. He said he was, and then said I must find it hot too, since I watch him. I told him I did enjoy it. Then he asked if I wanted to watch him now, and he finally looked away from the TV and at me, and he kind of started rubbing himself over his pants. He was on the other couch next to mine, lying down facing the TV (think of an L setup for the couches). I think I said “if you want me to”, and he turned around on the couch, still lying down but just facing the other way. It didn’t really make a difference from my perspective, but I think it was easier for him to look at me than when he was facing the tv. He slid his pajama pants down, and he was very hard. He started stroking himself, right in front of me.
I asked him if he was sure he wanted me to watch, and he nodded his head. I asked if this was something he’s thought about doing before, and he nodded ‘yes’ again. At this point the combination of my buzz + getting horny kind of started taking over a little, and I kind of started talking dirty to him. I asked him if he thought of me a lot when he “did that”, and he said not until he realized I’d been watching his videos. Then he said he “did it with those panties”, and I kind of shivered. I asked if he washed them after, because they seemed very unused when he gave them back to me, but he said that he didn’t cum in them, just “wrapped them around and stroked”. I had been sipping on more wine since this ‘conversation’ started, so I was slightly more buzzed, and much hornier. I asked him if he liked “using mommy’s panties”. He let out a quiet moan, and kind of picked up his stroke pace a little, and said yes. I asked him if he wanted to use some now, and he quickly nodded ‘yes’…. and then without really thinking, I just slid my sweatpants down, and took my panties off in front of him, dropped them onto him, and laid down on my couch facing him. I started playing with myself. He started stroking with my panties. No words were said for a few minutes, until he said “I’m going to cum, mom.” That kind of pushed me over the edge, and I moaned and started cumming. I watched him buck his hips while my panties were wrapped around his cock, and he let out a few moans. He let out a long “Mmmm” kind of sigh, and kept slowly stroking/rubbing himself, and then fell asleep. My heart was racing at this point. My post-orgasm guilt skyrocketed. I picked up my cum-soaked panties from him, and got up and threw them in the wash. I grabbed a washcloth and cleaned him up a little, then threw a blanket over him.
We talked this afternoon once he finally woke up. I was half hoping he was blacked out and didn’t remember a thing, but that’s not the case. We both very much remembered it. We had a very serious conversation, and kind of put everything out there. I asked him what his expectations were, if he was OK with what happened, if what he said was true (he said yes), etc. I laid down the guideline of, obviously, he can’t say a thing to anyone… which he found amusing, and reassured me that he would definitely not tell anyone he knew about any of it. I made sure he didn’t expect things to escalate at all from there. He was very OK with it, and said that while he finds it hot that I watch him, he’s never considered anything more than that… which was relaxing to hear, for whatever reason. Like I’ve said in the past, I never really wanted anything to happen, and was always very content with fantasies and just watching. Well, we kind of established that that’s all it will be. Watching. This was a LONG conversation. We both admitted to enjoying it. I admitted I probably wasn’t going to stop watching his videos, and he admitted that he’d want me to watch in person again. I told him that he can ask me if I want to watch whenever he’s “about to start”, and then of course he asked if I wanted to watch then…. which I didn’t refuse. He asked where, since we were in the kitchen. I told him we can go to his room, so we did. I sat on his bed next to his computer desk, and he sat at his desk and masturbated. Just like one of his videos, stroking and then cumming into his garbage can. Yes, I masturbated on his bed. It felt strangely normal. We were both done, I got up, said I’d let him know when dinner was ready, and then the rest of the evening was extremely…. normal. Relaxed. No tension. It was strange, but nice. Like an insane weight off of my shoulders and conscience. No more secrets, no more lies.
We ate dinner, and he went out with his friends. He’s still out now, and I’m getting ready for bed. I’m sure a lot of people will be very surprised by this update and sudden escalation of things, and trust me, I do not blame you. I feel the same way… it was VERY sudden and very unexpected, and happened so fast. I did not expect things to go this way, but… I guess like the song says: blame it on the alcohol. I’ll be around for a little bit to reply to comments etc as usual, but I will be going to sleep soon.

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